Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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