dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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