I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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