This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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