ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
