haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
