I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
