I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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