all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just want to make out with him forever
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize