ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
