Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
