Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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