he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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