you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize