he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Rumble strips road head = magical
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green