some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!