Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
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