so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
