Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
