I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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