From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
