its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
