I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
