if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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