I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
