i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
