you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
