Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
well you can't waste a boner
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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