He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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