try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
