Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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