No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
