This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
