how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
