have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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