Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
