Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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