i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
