You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
