Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
