I'm really into asian looking animals
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
