garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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