Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
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Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
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First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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