I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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