Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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