I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
A+ Viking dick
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
