arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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