I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
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Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
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Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
my liver is dry heaving
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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