who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
