I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
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Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
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Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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