she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
