mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
