Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
