I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
