I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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