We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
