Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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