i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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